Reasons and Possible Pitfalls of Casual Dating
2023, January 31
In today's world of constant haste and fighting for a place in the sun, people approach the issue of building a family with the utmost seriousness, sometimes postponing the moment of marriage as far as possible. And it's not surprising since, in the life of a modern person who pursues career and self-development, it is difficult to find room for the drama and obstacles that a serious relationship brings along. But given that we all have physiological needs, intimacy has not disappeared from our lives completely. In fact, people started to have sex even more frequently. It's just that the perception of casual relationships has changed.
But is everything as rosy as it seems at first glance, and is a casual relationship really the cure for all ills?
What Are Relationships Without Commitment Today?
So, what does a no-strings-attached relationship looks like these days? To see the whole picture, we must first understand how it used to be before modern technology came along. The culture of casual relationships and one-night stands has been around for centuries. If you go back in time, finding a partner to hook up with wouldn't have been that difficult. People frequented local pubs and clubs for no-strings fun, hoping to meet someone who didn't mind some sexy antics with a stranger. However, the main negative consequence of such affairs was unpredictability. You could meet some nutcase or leave empty-handed after trying to find someone the whole evening. Not to mention the various illnesses one could get from promiscuous sexual intercourse.
Now, if we go back to the present and compare the safety and convenience of modern casual hookups, the picture has changed for the better. Mostly because of the emergence of modern technology that makes our life much easier in every given aspect. Thus, today, anyone interested in finding a partner for a no-strings date will likely rely on one night friend dating rather than go to some shady local club.
The true power of dating sites lies in the ability to look for partners on the go using a smartphone or a laptop. But even this is not the main reason why modern people choose to go online. Given that all reliable platforms require registration in the first place, online dating has become nearly the safest way of arranging hookups. When meeting someone on a dating site, you can get to know the person better before having to meet in real life. This is exactly what can guarantee your safety, and when combined with mobility and accessibility from any device, it's no wonder why dating sites have become a symbol of modern relationships without commitment.
Why Do People Choose Casual Relationships
There can be many reasons why someone prefers one-night stands over long-term relationships. Some of us are workaholics, some have recently endured a painful breakup, and some simply enjoy being single. At the end of the day, we weren't all born to get married and have children; living solely for pleasure is not that bad. But to get a better idea of what to expect, it's worth looking at the types of no-strings-attached relationships with specific examples.
- Simply looking for fun
The most common type of people who go for one-night stands these days are those who are just looking for fun. They have no specific reasons for making this choice; it's just their lifestyle. They find sex to be a great way to relax and fulfill their needs while not burdening themselves with commitments and “together forever” promises. It is these people you will meet most often in clubs on the dance floor, at the bar with another cocktail in hand, or in various online chat rooms.
- Problems in past relationships
Some are tired of relationship drama and/or carry the heartbreak burden. Having gone through a painful breakup, such people often can't let go of the past and, therefore, can't enter into a new serious relationship. They prefer to change partners often and not meet the same person twice. It doesn't mean that during your date with them, you will take on the role of their personal therapist and listen to their problems. Hookups aren't about that and often don't involve long heart-to-heart conversations. But you shouldn't expect anything serious; you probably won't meet them ever again.
- Trust and commitments issues
To some extent, this reason can be considered a consequence of the previous one. The person may have already let go of the past and is living their life to the fullest, but the psychological trauma inflicted by a previous partner makes such people avoid attachment by all means. They can't trust anyone, so for fear of hurt feelings, they prefer casual sex. It isn't easy to build something meaningful with such people. If you still become sex buddies and, at some point, they feel that they have become attached to you or see that you are developing romantic feelings, they are likely to start avoiding you and eventually disappear.
- Not sure what they want
Does it happen that a no-strings-attached relationship develops into something more? Of course, it does! That's why many “casual hookups” become “friends with benefits” and then transform into “lovers.” Often this category of people starts a casual relationship simply because they don't know what they want. They don't pursue romance on purpose but don't mind if a hookup develops into something more lasting.
Common Pitfalls of Casual Dating
Obviously, a no-strings-attached relationship can't help but have negative sides, so they, too, should be considered beforehand, especially if you plan something long-term (a friends-with-benefits arrangement, for example).
- Possibility of romantic feelings and jealousy
It's perfectly normal for people to have a sense of ownership. We want something of our own, whether it is an item, property, or person. There is always the risk of getting feelings you never planned to have. These can be romantic feelings or simple jealousy. And yes, we can be jealous of someone without being in love. If you are the type who gets attached easily and doesn't like to “share” friends or family members with anyone, not to mention romantic partners, you shouldn't agree to a “sex biddies” kind of arrangement. If you are still interested in casual dates, you might then want to change partners more often.
- Sexual and personal risks
Promiscuous sex with strangers, especially those found in clubs, always carries the risk of STDs. But it doesn't mean you should give up intimacy. Rather, you should approach the search for partners with the utmost responsibility. Remember that you always have the right to request test results for STDs from your casual partner, but it means that you must be tested regularly as well. If your partner refuses to provide the results or says they never get tested, such a person is not the best option. At the end of the day, thousands of people on dating sites are ready to meet for a hookup tonight. If you meet someone this irresponsible, just move on. You have plenty of other options.
- You are basically alone
No matter how convenient casual hookups are, you are left alone when you return home after another date. For some people, this is the beauty of no-strings-attached relationships, while others forget about this aspect and end up feeling heartbroken. If you belong to the category of people who choose hookups solely because of a fear of responsibility, sooner or later, you will have to address this issue. Unless, of course, you want to live your whole life alone, running away from any kind of attachment.